Legacy Dad: Connection After Rejection
It was early. Not way way early but my 2 year old son was definitely awake earlier than he was supposed to be. We could hear yells, groans, whines, and his other strange noises coming through the baby monitor. Was he going to stop and go back to bed? We gave him a few chances for that to happen but then it was pretty clear that he was not. So I headed up the stairs to get my boy. Despite it being early, I was ready to connect with my son! You never know what you are going to get when you open that bedroom door. Sometimes he’s ready to see you and greet you with a big hug and other times he runs away. This time he greeted me with, “Noooooo!!! I don’t want you here!”
I was ready for this though. In the past I’ve stuck it to him by saying something like, “Fine, I don’t have to be here, let me know when you are ready to come out.” But this time I wanted to try something different. I have had a couple of thoughts swirling around in my head lately. Thought #1: My job as a father is to point my children to their Heavenly Father. Thought #2: Our Heavenly Father has pursued and is pursuing a relationship with me even when I have rejected him...either with my actions or my thoughts. The ultimate sign of His pursuit was sending his son Jesus to die on the cross for us.
Which lead me to to Thought #3. I must pursue my son even when he is rejecting me.
I want my son to know that my love for him is unconditional. It’s not based on him loving me back. I have no idea why at 2 ½ years old my son “rejects” me during certain moments. He’s only 2 and I know he doesn’t mean it….but if I am honest with myself.. it still stings. So I just sat down in his room. He hid behind his bed. And I just started talking to him. I tried to make him laugh, but he wasn’t feeling it. For the next 5 to 10 min we played this game of me trying to talk to him and him not really having it. I finally crawled over to where he was. He quickly darted past me and out the door and down the stairs!
He was headed for his momma! Sure enough, I walked down the stairs and found him curled up in bed next to her. (I didn't blame him!)
I went to the kitchen to make my coffee. And a few minutes later here he comes. He wants to watch tv and he needs me to turn it on for him. I could have easily said, “Not after the way you were treating me!” But I went a different route and not only turned the tv on but found one of his favorites...an hour long smash up of different trains on Youtube. I sat down next to him on the couch. He snuggled up next to me, under my arm... And we watched the trains. We finally connected this morning...and it felt good. My son will never remember this day but I will. It won’t be the last time he “rejects me” and it won’t be the last time that I continue to pursue him.